did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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