She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
