You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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