i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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