So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
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