You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
