Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
