..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
