You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
