Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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