you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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