Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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