im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
