dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
