dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
