therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize