Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
