I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he was CRYING into my vagina
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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