I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
