She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize