I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
