Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
