Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
