I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
