So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
