i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
