I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
