No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize