Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
