Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize