you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
