There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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