honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
