hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's shark week go big or go home
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
