You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize