Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
