I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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