I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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