Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize