absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
