Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
