he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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