You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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