I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
