apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
