At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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