It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
