And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
