she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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