then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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