I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
