Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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