yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
