How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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