After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
