do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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