My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
