Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
