if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
