We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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