Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
