I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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