Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
please don't ironically join a cult
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