The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
How's work?
Spinning.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
