real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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