i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
