it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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