Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
