no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I looked at my own cervix.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
