there's paper in my vomit.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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