Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
