Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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