i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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