I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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